Did i have crabs?

i was  working in the northwest territories, living in a remote camp on the tundra in the middle of nowhere.
there was a camp meeting and it was announced that some people in camp had crabs
it was no big deal they said, if u think u might have crabs, just come to the office and somebody will look at u with a flashlight, and if u have crabs u will be given a bottle of blue ointment and that will take care of it..
of course then everybody was thinking about it and a couple of days latter i thought i felt an itch,  i didn't want to have crabs but the more i thought about it the more i thought i might have.
but i sure as hell wasn't going to the office to have some bastard looking at my crotch with a flashlight.
 it never did get bad, but was still itchy, i just didn't know for sure, so finally i came up with a solution to the problem
at the time it was about 30 or 40 below outside. i got a gallon coffee can and filled it with diesel fuel. it was kept outside of course so u can imagine how cold that fuel was.
i snuck it into the lavatory, pulled down my pants and sat on the toilet,  i took that coffee can full of diesel and dumped it right in my crouch.  i gritted my teeth to keep from yelling. i don't know if it was the cold or just the burning of my skin but i was in some real pain. probably burnt and frozen at the same time. but i survived and went to work the next day like nothing happened
 a few days latter all the skin pealed off my crouch area, my poor little penis looked pitiful, all shrunk cracked and peeling.
it was a hell of a way to keep from being inbearest by a flashlight, i never did know if i had grabs or not, but i sure new i didn't have them after that desial wash :)
nobody in that camp ever knew what had happened that night

my buddy's got a big laugh out of it,     sure hate that negative attention :)