Lightin Gene

 My ole drinkin buddy was driving his 18 wheeler down the highway when there was a flash of light and a Hugh bang. He had been hit by lighting.
 The truck shut down and luckily he managed to get it to the side of the freeway before it completely locked up.
 The whole left side of his body was a little numb, but seemed to be no real personal damage,other than being almost scared to death. And when his girlfriend  arrived to pick him up she said his left cheek was hanging down a little, but in a few hours there was no more sign of any real damage.
 Everything electrical had to be replaced on the truck, and all the tires had to be replaced. haven't heard from him lately but i suspect there was probably a lot more problems with the truck.
 Anyway he survived and not has the name  ,Lighten Gene,
 like myself i think he also kind of likes that negative attention.  LOL, we sure got lots of that back in the ole drinkin days.  Thanks for the good times we had , Lightin Gene

Dnynamite on the seat

 While working as a drillers helper My job was to haul water to the drill rig.
 I stopped for water, blew a hole in the ice with dynamite and started loading water on the truck. i was sitting in the truck waiting for the automatic shutoff to indicate the truck was full. seemed like i was sitting there a long time. got out of the truck to check things out. i heard water running behind the truck.
 I went behind the truck and to my disbelief there was water running out of the exhaust pipe. Somehow the shutoff hadn't worked right and the truck was sucking water into the motor and it was running out the exhaust pipe.  No idea how that happened and nobody really believed it did happen, even the mechanic at camp said it was impossible for the truck to keep running while sucking water into the motor. But as i have learned  in life ,many strange things happen.
 anyway the truck was full of water and and i went back to the rig., used up that load of water and went back to get another load.
 When i tried to load the truck again i found the shutoff valve under the seat had frozen after sucking all that water tho the motor.
There was only one way to thaw the valve so i got the propane torch and blasted it under the seat, thawed out the valve, loaded up with water and headed back to the rig.
Then i smelled smoke, stopped the truck, got out and discovered that the torch had stared the padding under the seat burning. it was just smoldering . I tried to pull the padding out, threw water on it best i could, but it kept on smoldering.
I wasn't far from camp so i thought id just stop at camp and get a fire extinguisher to shoot under the seat and that would be the end of it.
 I pulled up to the office in camp and in no hurry i walked into the office and ask for a fire extinguisher, mistake, everybody jumped up and said , wheres the fire, i said , my truck seat is burning but its no big deal, just smoldering.
 Well everybody seemed to think it was a big deal, and the party chief, Larry Sexton, just happen to be there.  he was the first one out the door to the truck, he opened my truck door, and jumped back in surprise.
 There wasn't much smoke so i didn't see what the big deal was. Larry called everybody over to the door and said look at this, This guys drives up here with his seat burning and there, sitting on top of the seat was,,, A five pound stick of dynamite,,,,,
 After i had blown the hole in the ice i had just put the rest of the dynamite on the seat beside me and never thought anymore about it.
 I caught all kinds of hell, but guess who was the talk of the camp at the dinner table that night.
 I sure do hate that negative attention :)

Impressed with a childhood friend

Was too young to remember meeting Rick. We both lived in the same neighbourhood and tho were were raised quite different from one another we were always friends. There were 3 of us, Rick,Dave and  myself.
 Rick was the most intelligent by far and came from a different family upbringing than Dave or I.
 The last time i saw Rick was over 30 years ago. Tho the Internet I got back in touch with him just a year ago.
 Found out that he was doing great and had been dragged, kicking and screaming, threw the high tec age and did not like to use the computer. Hell i figured he would be the one of us who would be the computer whizz. Being as he was the only one of us that hadn't dropped out of school. he wrote me a few letters and sent a few pics via snail mail, and mostly communicated with me tho his wife  whom was the computer person in the family :)  even tho she too did some kicking and screaming  about the new technical age.
 Anyway, the wife was gone for the day and Rick finally got on her computer and sent me an email. it was great, and the thing that really threw me was how well he typed. Wow, i was really impressed.
 Here i am 64 years old and thinking maybe there was some advantages in going to school :)
 Al tho i have never regretted not going to school ( never wanted to do anything that I needed an education for) i sure wish i could type as good as rick :)
 Thanks rick, u have inspired me to use spellcheck :)

Spam scar

 Second year grade3.

 I was on my way to school, i my pocket i had a can of spam i had stolen from my mothers cupboard. I took a shortcut thro a wooded lot. while in the cover of the woods i started to open the can of spam.
 In those days there was a key you pulled off the lid and then rolled the key around the can to open it. i had the key about 3/4 way around the can when it broke off. The edges where the key had removed a small strip of tin were very sharp.
 I tried to pull the lid off but it just wouldn't come off. Finally i just pulled as hard as i could and my fimgers slipped off the can. As my thumb passed over the sharp edge of the lid a chunk of hide and meat was cut off of my thumb.
 I was bleeding like a stuck pig, but was scared to go home cuz i had stolen the can of spam from my mother.
I headed for school , running as hard as i could. got to school and ran down the hallway to the basement bathroom.
 I held my thunb under the water tape thinking the water would make it stop bleeding. the in walked ole Mr bullman, the principal of the school
 H had followed the trail of blood all the way down the hall to the bathroom. by this time there was blood all over the sink and floor and i guess it looked like i was bleeding to death. Bull man grab me and took me to the nurses office where the nurse got the bleeding stopped and had me all bandaged up.
 When they asked me what happened i told them i was running tho the woods when i tripped over a stick and cut my finger on a broken 7up bottle. That was my story and i was sticking to it. And of course i told my mother the same story.
 Mom even made me take her to the woods where it happened to find the bottle for evidence so the school insurance would pay the doctor bill. I remember looking tho the woods but of course i didn't take her to the place where it really happened, for fear of her finding the half open spam can
 Everybody made a big deal out of it and i got a lot of attention because i had to miss a day of school and go to the doctor and my thumb was bandaged up for quite soom time.
 I made a big deal of not being able to write in school cuz it was my right hand thumb and i couldn't hold a pencil for a few days.  How i loved all the attention :)
 When it was all healed up i had a scar on my thumb and whenever and whenever there was a question of what was my right hand i would feel that scar and know that was my write hand
 Even today when anything comes up about right or left, i rub that scar with my forefinger, and think  "That's my right side:"
 When i was 30 years old and my mother was on her deathbed i finally told her how i had cut my thumb. She smiled and said"U little bugger"

Did i have crabs?

i was  working in the northwest territories, living in a remote camp on the tundra in the middle of nowhere.
there was a camp meeting and it was announced that some people in camp had crabs
it was no big deal they said, if u think u might have crabs, just come to the office and somebody will look at u with a flashlight, and if u have crabs u will be given a bottle of blue ointment and that will take care of it..
of course then everybody was thinking about it and a couple of days latter i thought i felt an itch,  i didn't want to have crabs but the more i thought about it the more i thought i might have.
but i sure as hell wasn't going to the office to have some bastard looking at my crotch with a flashlight.
 it never did get bad, but was still itchy, i just didn't know for sure, so finally i came up with a solution to the problem
at the time it was about 30 or 40 below outside. i got a gallon coffee can and filled it with diesel fuel. it was kept outside of course so u can imagine how cold that fuel was.
i snuck it into the lavatory, pulled down my pants and sat on the toilet,  i took that coffee can full of diesel and dumped it right in my crouch.  i gritted my teeth to keep from yelling. i don't know if it was the cold or just the burning of my skin but i was in some real pain. probably burnt and frozen at the same time. but i survived and went to work the next day like nothing happened
 a few days latter all the skin pealed off my crouch area, my poor little penis looked pitiful, all shrunk cracked and peeling.
it was a hell of a way to keep from being inbearest by a flashlight, i never did know if i had grabs or not, but i sure new i didn't have them after that desial wash :)
nobody in that camp ever knew what had happened that night

my buddy's got a big laugh out of it,     sure hate that negative attention :)

stuck in the ice

while working in the northwest territorries, i was driveing water truck.
to get water u just drive out on the ice of a lake or swamp, which is everywere, and lay a samll peace of dynamite on the ice, then get behind the truck and set the dynimite off with a battery from the truck or even a flashlight. this dnyimite was the kind that blows down, not up,  the blast shakes u and hurts your ears if u dont have them covered. i was real impressed by the blast the first time i did it. even scared
anyway, i drove out on the ice to get water. i blew the hole in the ice, put the sucktion hose in the hole and waited for the truck to fill up.
when the truck was full i loaded the hose back on and was ready to leave
i let the cluch out and just as the wheels started to turn the ice broke. just one back wheel went thro the ice and there i sat in the ice hole
soon a drill truck came by to pull me out.  we hooked up the chain ans started to pull. i heard something break and everybody yelled to stop.  we had pulled the truck about a foot forward but the rear axle was still stuck in the ice hole. had colpletely broken the rear end and springs from the truck
i got in a lot of shit over that, but i fgured there were about 6 guys there when they pulled on the dam truck,,,, why didnt one of them think about what would happen,,,,,,, hell no,  lets blame the greenhorn driver that got it stuck . and i guess i was suposed to know there was a soft spot in the ice right were i parked the tires. i was amased only the tires went tho, i would think when it droped the whole truck ,loaded with water, would have gone tho the ice. then ofcourse the ice would have held the doors closed so i would have drwn is i didnt freeze to death first.

the big coinsidence

in the early 70s funny and i drove from veron bc canada to acapolco mexico.
on our way home we stopped at a bar in gainesville texas. had a couple of drinks but not much happened.
in 1981 i was called in canada to do the brickhorsehead job in gainesvile texas.
at that time i had forgotton about ever being in gainesville.
in the late 90s, funny called me from canada, just to see how i was doing. she had found my number and she remembered the bar we had stopped at in the 70s. after she mentioned it to me, i also , remember stopping at that bar on our way home from mexico,  at the time she called i just happened to be friends with the man whom had owned that bar in the 70s and still owned it at the time of the call.
jimmy has since sold the property and the bar was replaced with retail stores.
i had spent a lot of time in that bar, it was one of the first places i drank when i came to build the horsehead.
i was there with god and family one night, we were haveing dinner and shrimp was on the menue,
nancy ordered a big plate of shimp. i had never tasted shimp before. i found it quite tasty and after i had eaten quite a few, nancy asked , hows the shrimp, i replied. they are good but a little crunchy.
nancy laughed and laughed , then told me i was suposed to remove the shell before eating shrimp. lol
i laughed also.   man , i hate that negative attention

hollywood and vine

early 80s
there was no brickwork at home and i had heard there was work in california.
i called the phone company and ordered a yellow pages book from california, then got on the phone and called brick conractors in california and found out that there was some work there.
soon i was on the road and really had no idea where in california i was going..
i lived near hwy 97 in lumby bc canada, i had gone north  on  hwy 97 as far as it went to fort st john, so i thought it would be neat to follow 97 as far as it went south.  it ended in northern california, but that wasnt warm enough for me so i kept on heading south.
i noticed a sign on thw freeway that said, hollywood,, i had heard of that place before so figured it would be a good place to start looking for work.

next thing i knew i was the intersection of hollywood and vine, i had heard many tales of this place on tv or whatever. i was impressed that i had come to this famous place so far away from home...
i found a house made into a motel a little off the beaten path( it was cheap) and got me a room.
i remember the guy at the desk being so worried that i was going to use too much water takeing a bath, he had instuctions on how to take a bath instead of a shower becuz the price of water was so high.
 then i walked back to hollywood and vine and went into a bar, right there on the corner of hollywood and vine. where i had heard all of the movie stars hang out
 i soon found out that it was true, the stars did hang out there, but that had been many years before.
it turned out this was a sad time in hollywood. a lot of the stars were still there, but they were old and u couldnt tell who they were, sadly a lot of them were drunken has beens.
hollywood itself was old. the famous hotels and stores at hollywood and vine were now old and run down, had bars on the doors and windows and some of them were now apartments for the elderly.
when sitting in the bars people would come up and introduce themselves and shake your hand in hopes that u would recanize them and buy them a drink.  these were people that had been in the movies years before and were now trying to live off the fame they ounce had
 i was haveing a drink at the bar with a guy that was sitting on the next stool. he asked why i had come to hollywood,  i said, to find work, he kind of giggled and said he had done that also, many years ago. i asked what kind of work, i said , brickwork,  i got a surprised look on his face, and said,  well u will proberly do better than most that come here looking for work. most come here looking to work in the movies :)
 he went on to tell me how he and most others had come there trying to get into the movies and had taken a job ( as a book keeper ) to suport himself while he was waiting to be discovered and make it big time in the movies
there were bars there , where they had shows everynight, it was open to anyone who wanted to perform or show off there talents as actors or singers.  many people got up on stage every night and performed in the hopes they may be discovered,,,,cuz u never know when there might be a scout in the crowd looking for somebody for a movie part or whatever.
 i met a young guy who called himself elvis, he was an elvis look alike, dressed , talked, and sang like elvis,  he said, well, elvis made it big time and im just like him so there must be hope for me. that poor bastard is proberly still n hollywood doing exactly the same thing. i did notice that many people did buy him drinks, i couldnt aford my own drinks so he never did get one from me  :(
 in another bar i met fillis dilar,  i really did think it was her except i couldnt figure why she was a bartender, of course she was just a look alike. these people used the actors names and i sometimes felt likr\e they really thought they were the people they were impersonateing.
 while walking from one bar to the next on hollywood blvd, i was impressed with the inlaid stars in the sidewalk, there were many, i was most impressed with  the star of johnny cash.
a ways down the road, just outside a bar there was a man lying on the sidewalk who was obvieously haveing a problem, there were crowds of people and they just walked around him and ignored him.  of course i went by him and into the bar, after a while i heard somebody say,   hey philis, somebody had a hart attack out here on the sidewalk.   she went camly to the phone and called 911, gave the address and went back to work, nobody even went outside to see what was goin on. i guess it ws just a eeryday thing, and there was so many people there , whereever u went, i was caught up in it also
 i was there overnight and left sometime the next day, several people had told me there was building going on in luguna beach and that was where i went, and did find work, brickwork :)

frozen extremity

1966

i was working as a helper on a sizmic drilling rig in the northwest territories of canada.
we lived in a remote camp deep inthe middle of nowhere, we were flown out for christmas and then back in for three months.
the temperature was normally around 30 or 40 below o, sometimes dropping to 50 below
i was working behind the drill truck when i felt a pain in my pants, i kept working and the pain kept getting worse. i was thinking maybe i got a dose from a gal i had spent the night with in edmonton, dureing christmas
the pain got worse and finally i went down the side of the truck and opened my pants, and there hung my penis, with a hard crust on it, it was forzen.  ouch
i had taken a leak earlier and when i put it back in my pants , i got it in my pants alright but not inside my thermal underwear
when it started to thaw out i thought there was real damage as the pain was so great.
it was just frozen on the outside so it didnt do any real damage, good thing i got to lookin when i did, it wouldnt have taken very long till it was frozen solid and may have lost it.   wasnt funny at the time :)
when i told the driller what had happened he had to shut the rig down cuz he was laughing so hard.
when we got back to camp of course i was the laughin stock at the dinner table .  sure do hate that negative attention. wink :)

three wheeler crash

i will guess age 8 ,a buddy and i were headed over to his place after school on a tricicle, he was driveing and i was standing on the back running board. i  was pushing and hw was peddleing for all he was worth,then we startd rolling down a small hill not far from his house. we were yelling and going like all get out and to this day i can see that pothole in the road. the front wheel whin the pot hole and stopped, we both went head over t kettle and i seem to remember flying a little , and came down on top of the trike, my testicles slamed into the handele bars and i thought i was going to die.
i lay ther on the road telling the kid to get his mom, get his mom.. i was in so much pain i just knew i needed my mama, but we were right there at his house so i figured his mom was the next best thing.he wouldnt go get her for whatever reason and said come on, lets go in the house
iholding me hands between my legs i hobbled into his house and somehow got to his bedroom without his mom knowing there was a problem
i told that kid i hurt so bad i needed his mom to look at it.  i guess he was more imbareassed than anything, but finaley he went and got his mom.
i was in so much pain i didnt even thinnk about being imbareased, i just wanted somebody to look between my legs and see what was wrong
anyway his mom came looked and got all excited and worried as my testicles were sweld up 3 times there size. she called my mom and by the time i got home i was feeling a lot better but mom was real worried and called the doc.
we went to see doc macdonald, and he said i was ruptured and would need to go to the hosbital for an operation
by this time most of the pain was gone and i was all excited about getting all the attention cuz i was going to the hosbital
(when i was a kid i always wanted to have a broken arm so i could have a cast on my arm wheni went to school, i guess ,negative attention :) )
it was several months before i could get into the hosbital but finally it happened .  i loved all the attention i got and wasnt even inbasreset when the nurse came to shave my pubic hair. what there was of it. i had heard how it grows back in twice as thick and dark, i figured id have more pubic hair than every kid on the block when i grew back
i guss that was the first time i showed my private parts to a girl, after the hosbital i had to stay in bed for a few days.  shirhly nickel, the girl from next door came over to visit me. when mom wasnt in the room i asked her if she wanted to see where they cut me, she said sure, so i slowly pulled back the shaeets and showed her my operation. she didnt say much, she had a older brother so i guss it was no big deal for her to see a naked boy, she was just couris about the operation
i wounder where shirly is today, i didnt see her much when we got older, but i guess she was my first friend that was a girl :)
her dad was a pipfitter for imperial oil and was a real caricter  (jimmy nickel)

kill for his brother, the motive

when funny had first met ed, she also met his brother.  the brother told her he was very protective of his brother and did not want to see ed get hurt.
he told funny if she ever broke eds hart, or hurt him in some way , he would kill her.

when i came to edmonton to ask my wife for a divorce, eds brother figured i had come to take my wife away from ed, and he was going to kill me to eliminate the problem.

dam, if somebody had hurt my brother in that way i would have shook his hand, i never could fidure how anybody could be that proective, but we are definetly all different

i never really was mad at the guy for shooting me, i just figuered it was a drunkin party and shit happens

not being the vengfull type i wasnt upset that he only got 2 years, i never did meet him again and now think it would be interesting to meet him again. altho i surely dont think that will ever happen.

i dont have bad feeling toward him
hell, i didnt even have bad feelings against the guy that latter killed my late wife.  or about my dads death, figurered it was just some bad shit that happened,  anyway thats a whole different story

atempted murder

cockran, the guy that shot me was charged wih atempted murder.i was sumond to cortas a witness, as were many of my inlaws who were there, including funny,
the prosicuter took my statment as to what had happened, along with everybodyelse that was there. i think i was the only one who told it the way it really was, everybody else, including my inlaws and funny , each one told a little different story, im sure toconfuse the court and get the guy off. not cuz they were against me but becuz they all liked top difie the law. and after all we were all drunk and who really new exactly what happened.
it was kind of like, custers last stand,  nobody really new exacactly how it happened, cuz there were no survivers to tell his story and all the indians, each had a little different story to suit their own version of the story.
anyway , it worked, they charged him with attempted murder and then let him plead guilty to asault with attemp to wound.
he was sentenced to 2 years in jail

shot in the balls

i was liveing with  stef, my second wife to be. we decided we wanted to have kids.
we decided we would have to be married so our kids would have our name.
problem was , tho seperated for a year or so , i was still married to my first wife , funny. who lived in edmonton about 500 miles away

i didnt want to give funny the news on the phone so i drove to edmonton to ask her for a divorse, i knew she would be ok with it, but just wanted to get it done in person

as i thought she had no problem with it, and said her livei in bf would gladly testifie in court that she had commited adultry.  in those days the easy way to get a divorce was to sue the other party for adultery and have them agree in court. it was even funnys idea that i sued her, rather than her sueing me, cuz she thought it was good that i was planning to have kids and she didnt want a record of me being an adulter.

anyway, we got it all decided and agreed to have a part at eds , her bf, apartment that night, it was christmas eve.

i went to the apartment and met ed , the bf,  there were lots of people there, mostly relations, my inlaws, whom i always got along with quite well. of course everybody was drinking and soon most were haveing a real good time
i was sitting on the liveing room floor with ed, we had a texas micky of canadian clud on the floor between us, as we were takeing swigs out of it, so we were pretty dam drunk, but we got along just fine and it seemed like we were good friends.
the apartment door opened and eds brother( cant remember his name) came in the doorway and lifted a 38 pistol to level it at my head. ed( funnys brother) was sitting beside the door in a chair, he saw the gun come up and he reached over and pulled his arm down. by this time i saw them fighting over the gun, i went over and put my arms around the shooters waist so he could not lift the gun up. we were all stuggleing and he( if anybody can remember his name please tell me, well his last name was cockrun) lifted the gun as high as he could and fired twice. i saw a tile pop up off the floor from one shoot and the othe shot went thro both of my legs and cut my srotum( balls sack) wide open
i didnt relize i had been shot till i felt the blood running down my legs. next thing i remember, i was running down the hallway , banging on dors, hollering , call the cops i been shot in the balls. seems funny now, sure wasnt then
next thing i remember is the main doors to the apartment flew open and a whole crowd of cops came rushing in, guns drawn, seemed like they all picked me up and i went out the doors on figertips above the cops heads. i was taken to the hosbital and  where they cut 6 inch holes in my legs to remove fragments of bullets, then sewed me back together balls and all, the scrotum had been cut open just like u would to casterate a pig or whatever, but the testicals were not touched
the next day i found out my brother inlaw ,mood, had taken my truck when he was drunk, pulled out into an intersection and a car had dimolished the front end of my pickup
day after that i left the hosbital without permission , got on a grayhound bus and headed back to stef, in vernon. hosbital staff tryed to make me stay but i just wanted out of that town, all that shit had happened on christmas eve
anyway i got back home, got divorced, got married and had 2 great kids. everything worked just fine

#2 near death experience

i was working for morris on the farm, morris was given an old barn to tear down and salvage the lumber. it was a huge , hiproof dairy barn,.
the first thing was to get the roof down, we spent a few days forking starw out of a hole in the side of the barrn and takeing out walls and brases on the inside. then it looked like all that was holding the roof up was bases going up from the loft on both sides of the barn.
we started at one end of the barn knocking the braes out one by one, we worked on it all morning. then morris said lets go for lunch, then we will knock this down when we get back
i said, just let me knock this one board off before we go, ok he said, take that one out and we ll go
i swung the bar at a 2x6, bang it busted and the whole brase came down, i ran to the other end of the barn where morris was standing, i turned around , looked up, and saw the whole roof  caveing in from the other end.  we ran for the hole in the wall, morris was ahead of me, he went out feet first, banging his tailbone on the floor as he went out. i was running behind him, almost at the opening a timber slamed down in front of me, i dove over it and went out the hole head first. luckily, we havent yet moved the straw that we had forked out the door. we were laying in the straw pile, both of us had big eyes and had never been so scared in our lives,  i looked at morris and started laughing, he was just dumfounded , didnt know what to say.
after we sat for awhile and got our breath back we went home for lunch. of course we were all excited to tell verna ( morissis wife) all about the colaps.  she was mostly consernd that we could have ben hurt or killed and i just kept laughing. she got upset that i was laughing about it.   i also laughed when i burned the motor out of my ,like new, 52 chevy. i should have been devistated, i never could figure why i laughed about it

first near death experience

i spent 2 years in grade one and 2 years in grade 3. grade four i got spinale menengietious, i was sick in bed for some time, doctor macdonald had come to our house to see me several times.
late one night i got really sick and my dad called the doc.  the doc came to the house and soon called for a ambulance to take me to the hosbital in vancouver

as sick as i was i remember it was very exciting to know i was going in an ambulance.  they had a long way to go and they had the sirene on with red lights flashing, wow , what a ride, then as we were going around a corner i heard a bump and grind, the ambulance had hit a car, just a fender bender but they had to stop and get the insurance info, i remember thinking even at that age, how silly it was that they had to do the paperwork before they could take me to the hosbital
anyway i was in the hossbitale a few days, i think 10 days, and doctor macdonaald told my dad if he had called me 10 minutes later i would have died
i missed 4 months of school that year, and my teacher made a class project for all the kids to write me a letter. i remember mom reading those letters to me, i sure did like all the attention. i guess i got real skinny and i remember dad bring home cream from the farm, elbert and walters farm,  to this day i love to eat ceral with cream, but of course  cant do that for health reasons,  but it sure was good. a taste i never will forget

one dollar a day

age 16, was fired from my first job , loading boxcars with cedar shakes.
was drivein thro the country looking for a job where i could get room and board, had always loved being on  elbert and walters farm  when i was a kid, so figured a farm would be a neet place to work. was driveing my first car, 1950 austin healy. pulled into a dairy farm, it was raining and water stood everywhere, i asked a small kid, lorn, where his dad was , he saaid in the house.   i could see the house alreght but everywhere  between me and the house was covered with water.
i asked the kidf, lorn,  how do i get to the house, he looked at me and acted like i was really stupid cus i didnt know how to get to the house,   he pointed the way and i guess i just walked thro the water to the house
verna, later called mom, asked me in and call morris to the kitchen.
i asked if there was a chance ogf getting a job, he hummed and hawed and said ,"well i do need somebody to work but i cant aford to pay very much. ,   at this time in my life i realize what a crock of shit that was.
anyway we talked for an hour or so, and he kept on telling me how he needed me but could pay very much.
he never did make an offer,   then finnally i said , " ill work for a dollar a day as long as i have a place to sleep and eat.,   he kept on and on about how he proberly shouldnt do it,  and then about 30 minutes later he said, well,  ok, if u can come to work on monday, ill give u a dollar a day.. i can stil feel the excietment i felt whe he said  "a dollar a day",   man, that was what i had heard man dad say all my life .  how he had worked for a dollar a day back in the 30s .
i drove home with a big smile on my face, i couldnt hardly wait to tell my mom i was going to work for a dollar a day. i guess thats what u call nieve.   i remember thinking mom didnt seem very impressed with my knew job .  but at least i would be out of her hair
anyway, the next monday i went to work for morris hansen, on his dairy farm in harrision mills bc, for one dollar a day
its a long story in between, but i left 2 years latter makeing 60 dollars a month, not his falt,  mine

screwed in paris

just happened today.
the price of hogs has been up quite a bit lately,and i had gotten an idea that i should buy a bunch of youg goats i was only able to get 3 last week in gainesville , was all they had
i fugured i would go to paris goat sale and pic up a few there,
i called the sale barn in parris  and found out their sale was today. i asked the gal if they had many hgoats and she told me not many people had been sending them goatss theses days, i asked her if that was why the price was so high, she agreed
so not have much to do today anyway i thought id go to the paris sale , about 130 miles. and as the gal had agreed that the prices were high i took my 3 best pigs to parris. being sure i would get over 100 bucks for each. one was a doe i had accidently payed 85 bucks for
i got to the sale just abore it was going to start, then i had to get in line to get my pigs unloaded, so of course i got all in a snit about that, then had a little problem with an old fart at the window when i went to register as a buyer, so i got into the sale just barely before they started selling goats
then they opened the door and in came my best goat, i thought , holly shit are mine the only goats they have, i right away i figured i would get real good money as they had very few goats to sell
well, that thought didnt last very long, in about 3 mintes my best goat had been sold for 47.50, yep, thats the one i paid 85 dollars for and had fed her for a couple of months :(
they i just sat there in disbeleaf as they sold the rest of the goats they had for 50 bucks each.
if i had of been on the ball i could have bought all 8 of them for around fifty bucks and sold them in gainesville for over 100
god would have kided my ass if he had seen that, he would have known what to do right away. i could have at least bid my goats up and if i got stuck with them it would have only cost me the commision
o well , i guess thats what i get for thing, there i was , screwed in parris

steeling gas

age 17,, was working on the farm in harrision mills bc. the farmer across the road ,tao by name, kept his farm gas in a drum not far off the road, i watched him fill his tractor many times.  he had a 2" hose for siphining the gas out of the barrel
i was with my running buddys one night and we were almost out of gas. they asked  "where can we steel some gas, i said "tao has a drum of gas near the road, ut the road was between his house and the house were i lived. we couldnt drive down there without being seen ,so we took a five gallon bucket and walked down to the house, the dog started barking but i knew him and called him to me so he was quit after that.
we got to the barrel and found taos big syphining hose, we were so impressed with how well the hose work we decided to take it with us.
we carried the bucket of gass to the car and then drove the car down to the river were we wouldnt be seen. wee took the bucket out of the trunk and set it on top of my car,  52 chevy,
we put the hose in the bucket and i got ready to syphin the gas into the car, i fgured with that big hose i would have to suck like hell to get the gas tho the hose.
i sucked on that hose with all my might.  i gasped, sudered, spited , and swollowed what seemed like a gallon of gas.. i choked and caughed and all the time the gas was pouring out of the hose.  then i tried to jam the hose in the gas tank, but the hose was to big around to go in the tank, gas was just spurting everywere. we were all staggering around  laughing and yelling , and the two guys with me, doug stole, and marcell siegard, were both sucking on cigeretttes, its a wonder we didnt all burn to death right there.
anyway , we poured ass much gas as we could in the car , threw away the bucket and the hose and drove off.   at that time i didnt even know i was high on the gas and fums i had inhaled, i guess we all were but we were drinking beer and didnt know the difference.
next morning when i was milking cows, tao came over and  said,  " john, i know u did it, i dont care about the gas, but i want my hose back, just bring it back and we wont say any more about it"
latter that day i went to the river and found his hose and after dark put it back were we got it.  tao never did mention it again
when i think about these things i wonder how in hell i ever got to be 64 years old.

kicked the door in

it was back when i was married to funny, we lied in an apartment in edmonton alberta, it was time to move.
i called my brother inlaw,cam hansen, to come over and give me a hand to move
there was a few loads of furniture to move to the new place (dont even remember where that was)
while moveing we had been drinking beers or whatever we had at the time.  so when we got finished we were feeling pretty good and decided to go for a few beers at the bar. for some reason cam had to go home first so we agreed to meet at the bar in stony plain just out of edmonton. we were there a few hours so by this time we were really feeling good.

we decided we would go home and cotinue the party with our wives.  somehow we got seperated on the way home. so i arrived there by myself
i went up to the apartment and when i tried to walk in my apartment was locked. i banged on the door and nobody answered.,for some reason i didnt have my key,, i could hear music so i was sure they were inside. i banged on the door several times, i yelled at them to open the door.  by this time i was getting kind of mad ( remeber the beer :)). i yelled open this fucking door or i will kick it in. i figured they were hideing in there as a joke.
then the people came out of the apartment across the hall and were telling me that there was nobody in there.. i kind of ignored them, then yelled " ok,now quit fucking around and open this door or ill kick it in...
now i was pissed,  up came my foot and kicked the door right by the doorknob,  the door flew open, i saw the door jam going flying across the floor.  i said "fuck, nobodys here"  i walked threw the doorway and across the liveing room to the bathroom. i stood there and took a leak like nothing had happened. then i walked out of the bathroom and suddenly stopped, looked around, the whole place was empty, i had come back the the apartment we had just moved out of.. and broken in .
i hit the hallway running , down the stairs out to my truck and never looked back. for some reason we never did get a call or hear any more about it. guess they figured it was just some idiit  kicked the door in when he was moveing, they sure had the idiot part right. the music was comeing from next door :)

i gave my virginity to mona

lol
i told god a lie

stolen wagon

sure wish i had a pic for this one, it was the neetest horse dawn wagon i have ever seen
i had a fireplace to build in saskatuwan canada, we moved to the little town out in the country as it was going to take a couple months to get the job done
while we were there we discovered there were many abandend homesteads in the area. the people had  moved to town and the homes abandond, some of them still farmed but they lived in towns and just came to work the farms in the spring and fall. a lot of the places had a lot of antiqute junk around and could be had just for the takeing
we found the owner of one homestead and she told us we could take anything we wanted if we gave her 50 dollors, we hauled a lot of stuff from that farm, including a cast iron stove, that was in good shape and we  used it for heat in our home back in bc
one day wile cruzing the back roads with my helper, we came across  an old horse dawn wagon.  it was sitting on the side of the road on the outside of the fence, about 200 feet from the farmers house.
we stopped to look it over,  it was an old gravel hauling wagon, it had a belly dump bed in it, rigged with chains and a crank with chains to open and close the belly of the wagon
i was over 30 years old and when i climbed up onto the seat of that wagon and pretended to be driveing a team of horses , i felt like a kid, didnt realize my imagination could be that strong
nobody ever did come out of the house while we were there, but it was easy to see that people lived there
we talked about how easy it would be to just tie the wagon behind the truck and pull it off. we were only kidding as we knew it was stupi to steal a wagon. then we drove off and went home
next couple of days we talked about the wagon while we were working, drank some beers oer it and smoked a few joints.
then we decided we would go back and stead that wagon. as i think of it now i wounder how i could have been so stupid, but after i made up my mind there was no changeing it
so late that night, in canada it doesnt get dark till late at night, we headed back to the farm to get the wagon.
we took fuses out of the truck so no tail lights or brake lights would come on
backed up to the wagon and tied the tung to the bumper of my pickup. we pulled it down the side of the road to the next gate in the barbed wire fence. opened the gate and pulled the wagon thou the gate into the field, it was a big field, probley severl hundred acres, the plan was to pull it far enough away from the road that we could be seen working on it.  problem was ounce we got away from the road we couldnt see where we were going, couldnt turn the lights on if we wanted to. i was like driveing blind. the field was summer fallow, ploughed dirt, but here were some low spots that had standing water, at one point i was driveing along and all of a sudden i relized we were driveing in mud.   so there we were in the farmers field with his wagon behind the truck,   and if we got stuck the farmer was our only way out, if he went to the law we would proberly end up in jail. i was scared, in a real swet, but i knew if i stopped we would never get going again in that mud. i was gritting my teeth, i dint know which direction we were going or where the water was, we could have easily been driveing right into a swamp
i didnt slow down or speed up just kept the truck moveing, was afraid to steer as it would get us stuck, just kept going, and luckily, finally got to dry ground, we never did see the water we asumed we had just driven passed the edge of the standing water,
we went a bit father, we were way out in the field, nobody could see or hear us way out there
the plan was to load the wagon on the back of my pickup and haul it off
we removed all the wheels and whatever we could get lose with our tools, dont remember how we got the wagon bed up on the pickup but we did, then loaded the whaeels , tung, and all the parts in the back of the wagon. got back to the fence and followed it till we found a gate, got back on the road, put the fuses back in for lights and headed for the ranch where i was building the fireplace, we found a hideing place in the brush, unloaded the wagon with intetions of loading it back on the pickup when we went back to bc. several weeks later we  started loading all our junk on the truck and there was no room left for the wagon. so we decided we would leave it there and someday come back for it
a few years later, i met jerome ( the guy i built the fireplace for and he told me he had left the wagon ioin the bush for a year or so then painted it and set it out at the entrance to his ranch. it may still be there today

the meetorete,,,shooting star

shit , i wish i could spell :)

i think it was in the early 80s, i did a few brick jobs in california.
i was on my way back to canada, about 20 miles south of the canadian boarder, about 2 or3 am. no traffic on the highway, i was in the middle of nowhere , very tired as i lefft luguna beach  and was driveing all the way home, lumby bc, without stopping for rest
i saw a light in the sky,  it was moveing across my windshield, it was a yellow ball with a green and blue tail, it got brighter and brighter, then exploded into many peaces, then the peaces  streaked across the sky together,seemed like some were going faster than others, like one would pass the other , then fall back again getting father and farther apart, each had there own tail and soon there was a long trail of meetierites. then as they arched towards the earth they seems to burn out and disapeer, it only lasted a half minute or less, but it was the most extrodenary thing i have ever seen
ii wanted to stope somebuddy and ask if they had seen it, but there was nobody to stop
when i got to the boarder crossing i ask the boarder crossing gards if they had seen it or any reports.  i tryed to tell them the story but they seemed disinterested and kind of said "ya,ya,ya".  like maybe they didnt beleave me
after i crossed the boarder i stopped at the first truckstop i came to, i was still excited about the sighting and wanted somebody to know. in the cafe i ordered a coffe and got the attention of everybody in the place.maybe 8 or 10 people. nobodyelse had seen or heard anything about the meetyor.  so i went all the details. everybody listened, some acted like they were interested but i think they were just trying to be polite
 i guess i sat there for a half hour or so talking to everybody
when i left i said, "well. when u read about the mettior in the morning paper u will remember me" i only got one answer, a truck driver sitting at the counter said" ya, and when we dont see it in the paper we will remmber you also"
i guess npbody ever beleaved that story but it surely was true
a year or so before i saw the meetor a friend was telling me a story about how he had seen a flight of ufo s.
he said he knew it was ufo s ,cuz they were traveling at different speeds, some would pass others and then fall behind again. he waas a good friend and i never douted his story, but i did figure he was mistaken about  it being ufo s.  after my sighting, i knew what he had seen.  i did try to explain it to him later but either he wasnt very interested or he didnt want to hear it. i never mentioned it again

should i or shouldnt i

im trying to write this story of my life
trying not to get into the sexual parts of my life or the bad parts, but it seems every time i start to write it turns to sex or some bad shit that i did somewhere down the line.   i guess cuz that was the most interesting parts of my life
not sure if i should write this like a dirty book or just try to stay to the good parts, heell i guess if i left out all the bad stuff and sex i wouldnt have a whole lot to write about :)
wish i could find gods blog, it would proberly help me decide what to do. i have seen him as a father figure since i met him in 1978. tho i dont see him much there days i still have strong feelings for him, he is age 78 , and still going strong. i love the man like a father and always will
well maybe ill just go look for his blog, in fact i think ill email him and ask him what is the name of his blog, bet he wont tell me, bet he ll tell me he doesnt have a blog or some bullshit like that, or maybe he just wont answer, and when i see him and ask him about it he ll say he never got the email

the brick horsehead begining

back in 1980 i got a call from god ( my best friend) . i was in lumby bc canada. he was calling from gainesville texas
he had aquired a peace of land in texas to build a ranch on. he wanted me to come to texas and build a entrance way to the ranch. something that would get a lot of attention from trafic on i35, the interstate highway that passed by the ranch. he said he had no idea what he wanted but he figured i could come up with something pretty special. he would be back in canada (edmnoton alberta) in a few days and we could discuss it
this was the days of jr and dallas, and holly shit, god wanted me to go to work 60 miles north of dallas texas, not to mention that it was very exciting just to know i was going to work for god
i didnt sleep for 2 days just thinking about it and trying to think of something special i could build on the side of the freeway in texas
it was 2 or three days later, i shook my wife awake about 3 am, i said "ive got it.ive got it,,,,,,ill build gods logo out of brick "  the logo on his buisness card was a horsehead , a knight peace to rep his company called checkmate quarter horses
a few days later i was waiting for god when he arived in edmonton

he was all excited about a set plans he had drawn up by the university in texas, i looked at the plans , and they were pretty impresive.  i said well i guess u wouldnt be interested in what i was thinking of, what is it he said, i showed him a drawing i had done on the back of my buisness card, it was a poor drawing of his horsehead logo, i said , we could build this, he said, can u do that, i said ,yes,, he said how, i said, i dont know but i can do it. he looked at me and tore that university plan right in 2 :)

a week or so later jan 1 1981, we left canada for texas

five months later  i left texas heading back to canada, leaveing the highlight of my life, the brick horsehead standing on the side of interstate highway 35, at gainesville texas

the third mason

gunsmoke and sex

some years back i made a big discovery in my life
i was sitting at my pc, proberly talking to some naked gal or trying to find one to talk to, im those days i spent a lot of my time on the pc, and usurly had the tv on just for background noise
so i was at the pc with the tv on behind me, wasnt paying muuch attention to what was being said but then i few words caught my attention, gunsmoke was on, i thought i heard something about sex but i said to myself " no, thats gunsmoke, i must have misunderstood, they couldbe talking about sex on gunsmoke "
i kept on typeing at the pc, then i heard somemore mention of something refering to sex, i kept typeing and put it off as something i must have missunderstood.
i didnt look at the tv and kept on typeing,  then all at ounce i spun around on my chair and said " holly shit, they are talking about sex on gunsmoke"
i couldnt hardly beleave it, gunsmoke the show i had watched back in the 50s when i was a kid had all kinds of references to sex in it.  iit wasnt obvious, in fact of u didnt payatention u would never realize it was about sex
then i started paying attention, i watched several episodes, and discovered that most of the episodes were based on sex.....wow,,,, i was astoded,,,,,,
many episodes refered t...no,,,not many,,,,,,most of the episodes refer to adultry, rape, suduction, and all kind of sexual afairs, why hell, ole chester was a a playby. its never obvious, mostly people dont even realize it, i beleave it is subblimaanl, its there and it makes u think about sex but u dont even realize it                 just yesterday i walked in when my wife was watching tv, i looked at the tv saw a sexy gal on a donkey and said to my wife, this is gunsmoke isnt it?  she said ya, how do u know,  i could tell by the way the gall was made up, just looked like sex to me , and sure enough it was gunsmoke.
wheni first made the big discovery :)   i fgured it was just me, how in hell could i have watched all the episodes of gunsoke for all these years and never realised they were about sex, hell, when i was a teen im sure i would have been masterbateing to these shows if i had realised what they were all about
and heres the amazeing part,,,,, after i made the bidg discovery, i mented it to a few friends,   they all said , ya ya ya, nobody beleaved it, these were old farts like myself that had wathed gunsmoke forever, their first reaction was,,,,, gunsmoke. no, not gunsmke, there was no sex in gunsmke
i told them tpo pay attention next time they saw the show
even the most hard headed one came back and said  "you were right, gunsmoke is all about sex"
even their wives agreed , and thes are some pretty strait laced people
silly , but for me it was a great discovery
now i know why uncle bill would let the kids watch whatever they wanted on tv, but saterday night he was going to watch gunsmoke and that was all there was to that
hell i bet ole uncle bill didnt even realise why he was watching it
godd blog, if i do say so myself:)   just wish i knew how to write properly