why i cant write

several times in my life i have started to write my life story, i acturly started writeing a book about my life
but each time i didnt get veryfar into my lifes history before i stopped.
each time i got started i would get to a point where i couldnt write parts of my life because it would efect other people, i realized i new things that i could never put on paper because i knew things that would hurt other people. i think i first realized this when i was a teenager, and of course now that im 64 i know a lot more things about a lot more people that could do some damage
i even tried writing my lifes story, useing anonamus names and changeing the facts, to get around the touchy parts.
but for me, the whole point of writeing the story was to be honest and put it down the way it really was. there wa always things i wanted to say just to get it of fmy chest, but hell, i guess we all have to live with secrets about ourselves and others that we can never disclose
i have always had a thing about honesty,   not that i wouldnt lie, or cheat, or steel, hell , ive done all that eversince i can rememmber. i guess we all start telling little lies when we are kids
 the honesty thing that bothered me, and still does to this day is not being able to say things the way they really are, and say how u really feel about things
 i guess the best example is sex,  hell if u are going to be really honest about sex you are going loose out on a lot of good sex. i know this because  iwas honest about it, and i did loose out on a lot of it :)
when i was a teenager i thought sex was a nasty thing tht everybody wanted to do, so being honest about it when i was with a girl and got a little horny i would ask her if she wanted to do it, of course she would say no, and i would walk away cuz i thought when she said no, she ment no. mam i pissed off a lot of girls ,lol.
it wasnt just my teenage years either, infact, i still do the same thing today, although i have learned to tell little lies and minipulate a little to get what i want.  if i only new then what i know now,:)
of course now that im almost 65 and my health aint no screamon hell, i dont need all that silly sex anyway
theres a perfect example,  who in there right mind would admit they have lost their sex drive ?  very dam few people, maybe its just because i dont have a very big ego, but acurly i just like to be honest about things,
well hell, lets face it, if i was completely honest about everything in my life i would be in jail or shot by a jealous husband
anyway i thought this blogging would be a way to put down all my thoughts, but , of course, none of us can ever do that and there always a lot of things that we simply have to live with